He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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