Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize