Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
