dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
