last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
