no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize