shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
pray to the hookup gods
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize