Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
