i don't plan on having that self control this summer
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
