Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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