Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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