just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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