i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
