the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
