and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
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