fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My life is pants optional.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
