Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
