I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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