You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
