Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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