im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize