How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
