your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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