No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
