I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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