Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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