i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Randomize
