you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
