my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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