No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
