she was so not down for the gang bang
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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