but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
