I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
