How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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