i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize