i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
