Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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