My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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