I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
