im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
