I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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