Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
