why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
