she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I understand Curling. That high.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
