I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
