I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
