But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
