She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Randomize