i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
