Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
