You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize