i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize