what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
