I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize