i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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