I just threw up on my dentist
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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