im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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