that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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